Notes written as I listened to interview with Tuende Erdoes as part of the Essence of Mastery Summit.
Reason for focus – curiosity on the topic. Client noticing body language congruency with words (sense energy even if via phone)
Motion Energy Analysis – Responsiveness between two people (the interaction)
We are both leading -> Responsive to each other -> Dancing in the moment
When we are present, we are able to help another person’s needs.
Reflective not reflexive (in the moment) is what tends to happen.
Responsive <5 seconds is presence though body language.
Silence is also a response.
Reflection – What is a response?
Stopped taking notes – Taking attention away – Listen to your visceral responses – trust self more in the moment – trust that we will know what we need to know in the moment. By not taking notes we notice more, but maybe remember less.
For client autonomy & presence (self esteem & self confidence) it doesn’t take more than six sessions. After 6 sessions presence does not matter as clients create self regulatory capability. They raise their autonomy.
Sometimes we don’t enjoy because they take us out of OUR comfort zone – Be okay with being vulnerable and stating how their way impacts you – “i feel challenged”. We should trust ourselves. Discomfort – emanates physically.
The more presence, the more clients feel comfortable to challenge their own goals.
Compassion & vulnerability is crucial as we can only offer our own genuineness to the relationship.
Slow time down – enable time to reflect and go inwards – requires that we are present.
The relationship is the most important factor – When right it expands quality of coaching.
Sample – How do you want us to use the session…share…how about you?
We work in co-design and work WITH and we are present (I am aware of all)
Continuous learning is key – we never stop.
Notice that you re not present is the beginning.
We have over rated comfort.
Take aways:
1> If unsure, co-create the session / process
2> Note taking distracts being fully present (stretch)
3> Stay deeply curious at all times
4> Everything is co-design at a higher level – Ask – where do you want us to look / go forward etc.
Image Source: Pixabay
Leave A Comment