My very rough written notes done whilst listening to a coaching interview with Dr Ben Koh MCC as part of the Essence of Mastery Summit.
Leadership transitions focused > Them moving forward > About change
Our mindset / working definition is important – Our operating system (computer metaphor) is important – What is our OS? to support our client? Subject Matter knowledge supports mastery i.e. on change. Mastery not on topic, but on change/coaching.Science behind change is important –
We want people to have a process to support the journey to the end of result.
Words are not just words – What are the nuances helps bring clarity and understanding. Also important for clients and helps intention. Intentionality is an end result of coaching process.
Three words get in the mix together:
- To change
- To transform
- To evolve
These words look the same but they are different – nuances exist and that is mastery – knowing the depth.
Analogy of words: caterpillar becoming a butterfly. They are not the same, but source is the same. DNA is different. When in the cocoon it melts down and becomes liquid. To change we need to meltdown.
To renew is a shedding of something from within. Shed off and arise are two dynamics.
The potential is already within, but they have to unlock the inner potential to create the external one.
What makes change last: renewal part of the process helps.
Three more words:
- Thinking
- Learning
- Understanding
They look the same, but different. Understand: Verb & noun
As a coach, we need to know what were are looking for, to be able to discern. We look for understanding in the client. What is the nature of the understanding we are looking for? Looking for emerging understanding..perception of how they see their situation.
By being unattached we can see the parts – if not, we get stuck in close to the story. We can’t observe and be in the story – we are one the other.
Coaching shifts based on how client thinks. They way we structure questions impacts how clients think i.e. what or how? Coaching questions are not linear.
Iceberg model – A lot at work below the surface. BUT it forces us to consider how we can deep dive. A fish does not talk in/about water! Our clients are not coaches. We make them feel they are probed. Let’s change the iceberg to above the water surface.
They way we enquire shapes our clients way of thinking, which impacts how they learn (how i.e. operational – What creates more search). Position of curiosity / inquiry versus expert position. We need to come from curiosity.
Use more what than how – raises curiosity and moves us away from expert.
How questions – think of interconnectedness – the client is reflecting on what has happened at a surface level. How will you do that is transactional. Go beyond what create or resolve.
Be intentional – we know how things come together to create a greater whole. We need to be more deliberate in our questions. When clients feel probed they resist.
Adult learning theory shows creation / problem solving is more powerful than reflecting only. Similar in coaching – see parts, rather than details – Ask how parts connect. Interconnectedness of the parts of the clients stories. Construct, rather than detail. Dance in and out, In the story helps us to see what is going on and feel the emotions BUT we can’t stay there.
To be evocative, enquire about the connectedness of the parts.
Three tips:
1) Use more of a what
2) Use how in context of interconnectedness
3) Where can help uncover / discover .. Where is it coming from?
Triple loop learning is very relevant to coaching – in and out of the moment
Coaches should get feedback and mentoring, like a personal trainer at a gym! They allow us to maximise our time / value.
A mentor coach raises awareness and this is invaluable – our unconscious ways of operating.
Breathing exercise – in and and out – values exercise – 5 minutes in the morning – intentional reflection – compound effect of years.
FOR me the key insights from this session are:
1) The impact of probing and potentially causing clients lock up / get defensive.
2) The metaphor of the caterpillar and true meltdown in order to renew.
3) The role of what, more than how questions.
4) Using triple loop learning to dance in and out of the conversation.
Header Image source: Pixabay
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