My very rough written notes done whilst listening to a coaching interview with Diana Ideus as part of the Essence of Mastery Summit.
Respect the ratio and be present without rushing to speak: 2 ears and one mouth.
Active reflecting back is important and this requires deep listening.
Make an observation without qualifying statements “ are you aware your body language changes” or “ I have hear the word X several times”. Don’t judge. Slow time down and pare it back to neutral observation.
Whilst interjecting is us trying to be helpful, we are driving our value into this.
Take time to listen to your own calls – particularly balance of observation, your input etc.
Be as clean as you can in your questioning and reflection.
If we step out of coach mode is that because we can’t coach or it is hard – who are we serving with advice?
Coaching is helping people to “Trust their own wisdom”.
Sometime the coaching is clarifying the agreement.
We don’t listen often due to volume and pace and mixed metaphors
Deepen agreement beyond messy – go beyond surface level for sustainable change
Tone and energy shift can help us detect what is happening “bread crumbs” – coach whole person, not the topic.
Don’t assume you know anything – knowing gets in the way – we want them to trust themselves
Don’t name what you are hearing – get them to name it. Hold up the mirror and hold the space.
Note taking – no wrong way – as long as it works for you and your client it is ok.
Build in decompress time so you can be fully present.
Consider what patterns are happening – make visible as they may be yours. If known you can change.
WAIT – Why Am I Talking?
breadcrumbs >>> observation (tone, language etc) / Metaphors & Analogies (you can also ask for one) / repetitive language is worth exploring
‘I DON’T KNOW “ IS A GIFT as you can go deeper.
Limiting beliefs >> absolute words – always, never, should etc >> Make them aware via questions
What isn’t being said >> How much out of head, heart or gut? which are missing?
What you ask is more important than what you say – less is more!
What and how are more important than why
Open your questions, rather than close
Hold up the mirror – so that they find new angles
Getting ready for MCC:
1) Figure your WHY for going to MCC -> Get coached on it
2) Listen to your own coaching and use markers to listen
3) Get engaged in your coach community – Learn from others and support you
Key learnings from the session:
1) Use clean language that does not include my view/opinion or qualifying statements.
2) Don’t assume you know anything – knowing gets in the way. Be inquisitive, but not WHY questions
3) Listen for limiting beliefs – Modal verbs – Help them unpack them
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