The ability to build strong, respectful, and productive relationships across a range of people and situations. It involves reading social cues, adapting communication, listening with empathy, and navigating differences with emotional intelligence to create trust, connection, and collaboration.
“Empathy represents the foundation skill for all the social competencies important for work.” Daniel Goleman
Barriers to interpersonal savvy
Arrogance and/or Impatience: Some leaders struggle with interpersonal savvy due to being arrogant, impatient, or insensitive, which can alienate others and reduce engagement.
Dealing with difference: Some leaders cannot manage disagreement or criticism, becoming defensive when challenged.
Judgmental: A judgmental or rigid mindset can prevent leaders from connecting with people who have differing perspectives.
Low self-confidence: Leaders with low self-confidence may avoid engaging with new people or challenging topics, making it hard to build or deepen relationships.
Low listening capability: Some leaders struggle with listening attentively, and this can hinder building rapport with others, as well as block problem solving and supporting others.
Unable to connect: Leaders with a narrow point of view may fail to engage with others as they struggle to relate to diverse individuals or situations.
Overly intense: Being too intense or work-focused can make a leader appear unapproachable or unrelaxed, potentially limiting or blocking interpersonal connections.
Shyness: Shyness or social discomfort can prevent leaders from engaging effectively with others.
Overloaded: Some leaders are too busy or poorly manage their time; this may lead to them neglecting the interpersonal aspects of their role.
Freezing in conflict: A tendency to freeze or panic in conflict situations may show a lack of interpersonal agility.
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Stephen Covey
Enablers of interpersonal savvy
Adapt to the person: Understand that people come from diverse backgrounds and have unique communication styles, motivations, and values. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues to better read the room. By recognising these differences, you can engage more effectively and ensure smoother interactions.
Connection before content: Rather than jumping straight into business, take time to build rapport first. Ask open-ended questions, listen carefully, and establish common ground. This approach fosters trust and makes people feel valued, which in turn creates a more cooperative working relationship.
Be a better listener: Good listeners gather more information and build stronger relationships. Resist the urge to interrupt or judge quickly. Ask clarifying questions and restate what you have heard to show understanding and respect for the speaker’s viewpoint.
Share appropriately: Build trust by sharing insights, thoughts, and personal experiences. Offering more appropriate information can invite collaboration and help you establish deeper connections with your colleagues. It shows that you value their input and involvement.
Watch your non-verbals: Body language speaks volumes. Maintain eye contact, smile, and ensure your tone is calm and pleasant. Avoid actions that signal disinterest or impatience, like checking your watch or fidgeting with papers, as they can undermine your message.
Respect all: Treat everyone with the same interpersonal respect, regardless of their position, background, or style. The principles of interpersonal savvy remain constant, and by applying them consistently, you can connect with a wider range of people.
Be proactive: If you are shy or lacking confidence, practise initiating conversations. Start with small social interactions in non-work environments to build confidence. Making the first move demonstrates leadership and can help you overcome hesitation in professional settings.
Change your combat tactics: Handle those you do not naturally connect with by focusing on their strengths or shared interests. Suppress personal judgements and maintain a neutral, professional stance. Asking questions and showing genuine interest will help ease tensions.
Return to zen: In difficult situations, practise staying calm and let others vent without reacting defensively. Use techniques like active listening and asking open-ended questions to diffuse tension. By maintaining composure, you can turn confrontational moments into productive discussions.
Deepen your understanding: Deepen your knowledge of behaviour. Explore behaviour constructs through TYPE instruments like DISC or SOCIAL STYLE. Deepen your understanding of Emotional Intelligence and Positive Communication.
“Work on your relationships… Relationships need renewal or they die.” Bo Sanchez
Reflection questions on interpersonal savvy
Could you adapt better to different personalities? How well do you read people’s communication styles, motivations, and values? How do you currently adjust your approach for different individuals?
Do you spend time building rapport before diving into business? What could you do differently to make others feel more at ease with you? Could taking a few extra minutes to connect on a personal level improve your relationships and outcomes?
How effective would you rate your listening? What strategies could you use to listen more actively and empathetically?
How open and approachable are you in your interactions? Do you think people feel comfortable sharing ideas or concerns with you? What behaviours or non-verbal cues could you improve to be more approachable?
How well do you manage your non-verbal communication? Do you notice if your tone or gestures signal impatience or disinterest?
Could you share more personal insights to build trust? How could being more open encourage others to reciprocate?
Are you as comfortable with senior management as you are with your direct reports? What patterns or behaviours change when you engage with people of different ranks or backgrounds? How can you replicate your successful interpersonal strategies across all levels?
Do you take the lead in social situations, even if you feel shy or hesitant? How do you typically approach unfamiliar people or social settings? What small steps could you take to practise engaging more confidently with others?
How do you handle difficult people or challenging interactions? What triggers you during tense conversations, and how do you react? How might your approach shift if you saw difficult interactions as opportunities for learning?
Could you remain calm and composed during high-conflict situations? How might you use techniques like active listening or asking clarifying questions to defuse conflict? How do you think keeping your cool during tense moments could shift the outcome of a disagreement?
“Good human relations not only bring great personal rewards, but are essential to the success of any enterprise.” J. R. D. Tata
Explore related leadership resources
To further develop this capability, examine how it intersects with other core leadership dimensions across the libraries:
Leadership library:
- Emotional Intelligence: Develop the self-awareness and social skills necessary to navigate complex interactions and build lasting professional rapport.
- Empathy: Cultivate the ability to see the world through others’ eyes, ensuring your interactions are grounded in genuine understanding and respect.
- Multigenerational Leadership: Bridge the gap between different age groups in the workplace by adapting your style to diverse values and communication preferences.
- Managing Others: Apply your relational skills to drive performance, providing the support and direction needed to help individuals succeed.
Supporting libraries
- Empathy (Traits): Leverage your natural sensitivity to the feelings of others to build deeper trust and identify unspoken needs within your team.
- Positive view of people (Traits): Start every interaction from a place of fundamental respect, creating an environment where others feel valued and open to collaboration.
- Interpersonal relationships (EQ-i): Focus on the give-and-take of professional bonds, ensuring relationships are mutually beneficial and emotionally intelligent.
Continue exploring: Return to the Leadership Library to view the full directory of competencies and resources.