Constructive humour

The ability to use light-heartedness and appropriate humour to build connection, reduce tension, and foster a positive and resilient team climate. It involves reading the room, using inclusive and well-timed humour, and creating psychological safety by showing humanity and warmth—without undermining professionalism or clarity.

“Good humour is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.” – Grenville Kleiser  

Barriers to constructive humour

Lack of ability: Some leaders simply struggle with telling jokes or delivering humour effectively, which can make attempts feel forced or awkward.

Limiting beliefs: Leaders who don’t consider themselves naturally humorous may shy away from using humour, fearing it could backfire or seem inauthentic.

Seen as unprofessional: Many leaders view humour as inappropriate in a business context, believing it undermines authority or distracts from serious work.

Fear of being the fool: Leaders who prioritise maintaining a serious image often avoid humour to prevent being seen as silly, frivolous, or less competent.

Serious disposition: Leaders who take their role very seriously may lack the light-heartedness needed to incorporate positive humour into their interactions.

Risk aversion: Using humour can be unpredictable, and some leaders avoid it to prevent potential misunderstandings, offending others, or embarrassing themselves.

Unskilled in positive Humour: Leaders who struggle with differentiating constructive humour from sarcasm or negativity may inadvertently dampen morale or create discomfort.

Low psychological safety: Leaders who are humourless or dismissive of humour can create an environment where others feel reluctant to engage in light-heartedness.

Timing and context issues: Misjudging when and how to use humour can lead to poorly timed jokes or inappropriate remarks, making leaders hesitant to try.

Reliance on the dark side: Some leaders default to sarcasm, cynicism, or politically charged humour, which can alienate others and damage relationships instead of fostering a positive environment.

As you reflect on your own leadership, which of the above may be barriers you recognise in yourself? Which ones could you work on sooner, rather than later? Which ones would potentially be the easiest and have a positive impact?

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin

Enablers of constructive humour

Find humour in everyday life – Humour is everywhere if you learn to spot it. Tap into everyday situations. Start by observing humorous things around you, then share them with trusted colleagues to refine your humour judgement.

Keep humour family friendly – In today’s sensitive world, avoid humour that targets specific groups, like sexist, ethnic, or politically charged jokes. Stick to inclusive humour that unites rather than divides, ensuring that no one feels belittled or uncomfortable.

Start with yourself – Self-deprecating humour is often the safest and most endearing type. Sharing funny stories about your own mistakes or quirks humanises you and builds rapport. Just remember to balance it with professionalism to avoid undermining your credibility.

Avoid sarcasm and criticism – Using humour to deliver negative messages is unproductive and can be hurtful. Instead of masking criticism with sarcastic remarks, be direct and constructive. Sarcasm often creates confusion and resentment rather than addressing issues clearly.

Don’t use as a defence mechanism – Humour can be a way to deflect discomfort or avoid difficult topics. It’s better to address issues openly rather than downplaying them with jokes. Acknowledge when you feel uneasy instead of using humour to dodge the conversation.

Dial into the timing – Knowing when humour is appropriate is crucial. If you’re unsure, follow the lead of others and observe when they introduce light-heartedness. Over time, you’ll develop a sense for when humour is well-received and when it’s out of place.

Learn from the experts – Study how professionals use humour by reading books, attending comedy shows, or observing witty colleagues. Horde. Collect humorous content, like cartoons or quotes, that resonate with you and test how others respond to them in different settings.

Master the basics – Learn simple techniques like exaggeration, role reversal, and brevity. Use these tools to craft humorous stories or observations, keeping them concise yet vivid. Focus on the essential elements that create the humour while setting a relatable scene.

Loosen up – Overcome your inhibitions by engaging in playful activities like silly games or interacting with children. Participate in light-hearted office events and be willing to laugh at yourself. Allowing some fun into your routine helps you embrace a more relaxed mindset.

Encourage others – If humour isn’t your strength, at least create an environment where others feel comfortable being funny. Supporting their humour can improve workplace morale and may even inspire you to join in, building your own confidence along the way.

“A sense of humour is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower

Reflection questions for constructive humour

Can you identify moments from your daily life that naturally lend themselves to humour, and how can you share these observations with your team? How could you make a habit of noting down humorous moments and testing them in low-risk settings.

How can you ensure that your humour is inclusive and doesn’t inadvertently offend or alienate any group of people? What guidelines or principles can you establish for yourself to avoid humour that might be considered inappropriate or insensitive?

Are you comfortable with self-deprecating humour, and how can you use it to humanise yourself and build better connections with your team? In what ways can you balance self-deprecating humour with displays of competence and authority to maintain respect.

Do you sometimes use humour to mask criticism or negative feedback, and how could you address issues more directly without relying on sarcasm or veiled comments? How can you structure your feedback to be constructive and clear, while still incorporating humour in a way that supports and motivates your team?

When you feel uncomfortable or defensive, do you use humour to deflect, and how could you communicate your discomfort more openly instead? What alternative communication strategies can you develop to address uncomfortable situations?

How could you better gauge the right moments for humour in meetings or discussions, and what strategies can you use to improve your timing? What signs or cues from your team can you observe to determine whether a humorous comment will be well-received or could disrupt the flow?

Have you studied how skilled comedians and humorous colleagues use humour, and what specific techniques can you adapt for your own use? Which elements of their humour style resonate most with you, and how can you practice integrating these techniques.

What basic humour techniques, such as exaggeration or reversal, can you practice to enhance your storytelling and presentation skills? How can you experiment with these techniques in a variety of contexts to understand which ones work best for you and your audience?

Are you willing to engage in playful or silly activities that might help you become more comfortable with humour, and how can these activities benefit your leadership style? What specific activities or team-building exercises could you initiate to help both yourself and your team become more comfortable with humour?

How can you create an environment where humour is encouraged among your team, even if you’re not naturally funny, and how might this positively impact team dynamics? What steps can you take to model and support a culture of humour, and how can you measure the effects on team morale and cohesion?

“Good humour isn’t about telling jokes. It’s about being human together.” — Brené Brown

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