The proactive practice of effectively working with and influencing one’s manager or senior leadership to ensure alignment on goals, priorities, and expectations. This involves clear communication, understanding leadership styles, anticipating needs, and fostering a collaborative relationship to drive mutual success.
“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” Tony Robbins
Barriers to managing upwards
Perceived competence disparity: The senior leader may not view the leader as competent as the leader views themselves, creating friction and misalignment in expectations.
Professional jealousy: Leaders might feel resentment or jealousy towards their boss for securing a position they believe they deserved, leading to underlying tension.
Skill gap: Significant differences in skills can cause one party to undervalue or disrespect the other, whether the disparity is in the leader’s or the senior leader’s favour.
Ethical mismatches: Differences in ethics, values, and integrity between both can lead to distrust and conflict.
Divergent management practices: Conflicting approaches to management can create friction and hinder effective collaboration.
Style and philosophy differences: Variations in style, philosophy, pace, and motivation can cause misunderstandings and reduce mutual respect.
Discomfort with authority: Leaders who are not comfortable with authority may struggle to engage positively with their direct leader, leading to strained relationships.
Tension in presence of boss: Leaders may become tense or anxious around their boss, negatively impacting their communication and behaviour.
Resistance to coaching: A leader who is not open to coaching or direction from their boss may appear uncooperative and hinder the development of a productive relationship.
Impact on productivity: Poor relationships with the boss can obstruct a leader’s ability to work effectively and productively, ultimately affecting the organisation’s performance.
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Stephen R Covey
Enablers of managing upwards
Drive down the rocky road: Focus on managing the relationship with minimal long-term impact. Identify and work on three key issues with your boss, keeping conversations directed at these core problems. Understand your leader’s pressures and define success expectations clearly.
Assess boss motives: Objectively evaluate your boss’s strengths and weaknesses with help from a confidant. Try to understand their actions and motives, even if you disagree with their methods.
Depersonalise and be neutral: Separate personal feelings from professional interactions. Objectify the situation and deal with your boss’s role, not the individual. Identify strategies to handle dislikes and seek advice from those with positive views of your boss.
Seek feedback from others: Gain insights from trusted colleagues or mentors about your strengths and weaknesses. Understand what drives your boss and adapt your communication style to avoid unproductive conflicts.
Find your triggers: Keep a journal of what irritates you about your boss to avoid repeating these behaviours if you get promoted. Manage tense situations calmly, listening without immediate reactions, and focus on solving the problem.
Learn from the situation: Reflect on your contributions to the strained relationship and consider how to respond differently in future conflicts. Avoid anger and blame, focusing instead on constructive self-improvement.
Seek common ground: Direct confrontation usually fails. Instead, treat it as a conflict to learn from and find common interests. Exercise patience, as hasty actions often backfire and reflect poorly on you.
Have solutions-based discussions: Engage in informal, relaxed conversations with your boss about the issues, starting with your contributions to the problem. Offer help in areas your boss struggles with to build equity in the relationship.
Strike a bargain with yourself: Commit to performing your best despite the relationship noise. Focus on job performance imperatives and make the most of the situation, keeping in mind your career will outlast your current boss.
Keep it to yourself: Avoid gossiping about your boss unless it involves serious ethical breaches. Respect their role and manage assignments professionally, even if they seem unfair. Address integrity issues through proper channels with specific examples, not general accusations.
“The best way to predict your future is to create it.” Peter Drucker
Managing upwards reflection questions
What are the three most critical issues in your relationship with your boss, and how can you strategically address them to ensure alignment and productivity?
What steps can you take to objectively assess your boss’s strengths and weaknesses, and how can this understanding help you navigate your relationship more successfully?
How can you identify and leverage common interests or goals with your boss to build a more collaborative and productive working relationship?
How can you effectively separate personal feelings from professional interactions to engage with your boss in a more objective and constructive manner?
What are the key performance imperatives of your role, and how can you remain focused on these goals to maintain professional excellence despite relationship challenges with your boss?
In what ways might your actions have contributed to any of the current challenges with your boss, and how can you adjust your behaviour to foster a more positive and effective relationship?
Who are the trusted colleagues or mentors you can turn to for honest feedback about your relationship with your boss, and how can their insights help you improve your interactions?
What specific behaviours or actions from your boss trigger a strong emotional response in you, and how can you develop strategies to manage these triggers more effectively?
How can you prepare for solutions-focused discussions with your boss, leading with your own contributions to the issues and offering practical support to enhance mutual success?
How can you demonstrate professionalism and loyalty by managing your frustrations privately and ensuring that your actions reflect integrity and respect for your boss?
“People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.” – John C Maxwell
Explore related leadership resources
To further develop this capability, examine how it intersects with other core leadership dimensions across the libraries:
Leadership library:
- Executive Presence: Cultivate the confidence and composure necessary to engage with senior leaders as a peer, ensuring your insights are heard and respected.
- Decision Making Quality: Build upward trust by consistently providing well-reasoned, data-backed recommendations that account for broader organisational risks.
- Comfort Around Higher Management: Overcome the barriers of hierarchy to share information transparently and engage in productive, high-level dialogue.
- Assertiveness: Master the ability to advocate for your team’s needs and express your professional viewpoint clearly, even when it challenges senior perspectives.
Supporting libraries
- Articulating intent (Traits): Move beyond reporting tasks by clearly explaining the ‘why’ and ‘how’ of your initiatives to ensure leadership remains aligned with your strategy.
- Follow through (Traits): Solidify your reputation with your manager by being the person who consistently delivers on commitments without the need for reminders.
- Independence (EQ-i): Balance your collaborative efforts with the self-directed confidence to handle responsibilities autonomously, reducing the “management load” on your leader.
- Optimism (EQ-i): Approach upward interactions with a solution-oriented mindset, becoming a source of positive momentum rather than just a messenger of problems.
Continue exploring: Return to the Leadership Library to view the full directory of competencies and resources.