The thoughtful sharing of personal experiences, values, perspectives, or vulnerabilities to foster trust, build connection, and enhance relational transparency. It involves being selective, authentic, and mindful about what is shared, balancing openness with professionalism.
“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” Paul J. Meyer
Barriers to personal disclosure
Belief in separation: Some leaders believe that work and personal life should remain distinct, viewing personal disclosure as unprofessional.
Uncertainty about what to share: Some leaders lack clarity on what is appropriate to disclose, fearing that revealing too much could backfire or feel irrelevant.
Lack of perceived value: Some leaders do not see the point of personal disclosure, considering it unnecessary or not beneficial to their leadership role.
Low self-confidence: A fear of being judged or exposed can hold them back, worrying that others might discover weaknesses or imperfections.
Perfectionism: Leaders who strive for perfection may avoid disclosing vulnerabilities, believing that showing any weakness undermines their authority.
Negative past experiences: Witnessing poor examples of disclosure by others can make some leaders cautious or hesitant to follow suit.
Personal discomfort: Shy or introverted leaders may feel uncomfortable sharing personal details, finding the act itself stressful or anxiety-inducing.
Fear of vulnerability: A fear of how others might react or use the information against them can lead to defensiveness and a reluctance to disclose.
Inexperience with disclosure: Leaders who rarely share personal information may not have developed a sense of what is helpful or appropriate to disclose in a professional setting.
Concern about being perceived as weak: Some leaders fear that sharing personal struggles or flaws could damage their image of strength and competence.
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” Criss Jami
Enablers of personal disclosure
Be selective: If you are unsure about what to share, start with safe topics like your reasons for taking certain actions, past experiences that shaped you, or things you are interested in outside of work. Selective disclosure lets you maintain professionalism while still being open, helping to build trust without oversharing.
Start small: Begin with low-risk disclosures, such as talking about hobbies, recent holidays, or business-related interests. Introducing these in conversations helps you ease into the practice of self-disclosure, allowing you to gauge others’ responses without feeling too vulnerable.
Find commonalities: Learn three non-work-related things about each colleague, like their favourite sports or family life. This small step in getting to know people personally makes you more approachable and helps create a comfortable environment for future disclosures.
Observe and learn from others: Identify colleagues who disclose effectively and pay attention to how and when they do it. Compare this with those who disclose very little and reflect on which approach fosters better working relationships. Emulating good examples can help you find your own balance.
Practise in safe settings: Try disclosing more personal things with strangers or in casual social situations. Notice how others respond and adapt your approach based on what makes you and them comfortable. This practice builds confidence for similar disclosures in the workplace.
Embrace who you are: Be honest about your strengths and limitations. Sharing your self-appraisal—especially things others may already know about you—makes you more relatable and can help build stronger, more transparent relationships.
Acknowledge mistakes: Admitting errors shows humility and humanises you as a leader. Quickly own up to your mistakes, share what you have learned, and move on. This not only encourages others to be more open but also fosters an environment of continuous improvement.
Explain your reasoning: When you share a belief or value, explain the reasoning behind it. This invites dialogue and helps others understand your perspective rather than viewing it as rigid.
Be mindful of timing: Pay attention to the other person’s responses when you share personal information. If they engage in return, you are likely within a comfortable zone. If they seem reserved, it might not be the right time to continue.
Set clear boundaries: Too much disclosure can backfire, so know your limits. Avoid controversial topics like politics or anything inappropriate for the workplace. Keep in mind that some people may not be trustworthy with personal details, so be cautious about sharing sensitive information.
“Most people believe vulnerability is weakness. But really vulnerability is Courage. We must ask ourselves…are we willing to show up and be seen.” Brené Brown
Reflection questions on personal disclosure
How comfortable are you with sharing personal aspects of yourself at work? Could you identify what makes you hesitant to disclose more? When was the last time you shared something personal with a colleague, and how did it feel?
Could you start by disclosing selectively? What safe topics could you introduce into conversations? How can you ensure your disclosures remain professional and relevant to the workplace?
How often do you make an effort to learn non-work-related things about others? Could you build stronger connections by getting to know colleagues on a personal level? What kinds of information have others shared with you that made you feel more connected to them?
Do you have a role model for effective self-disclosure? Could you observe how a colleague or leader you admire discloses personal information? What do they do well, and how could you adopt similar practices?
Could you practise self-disclosure in low-risk environments? How could you use casual social settings to experiment with sharing more about yourself? What is one personal detail you could share in your next work interaction, and how might you test the response?
Are you comfortable discussing your strengths and weaknesses? How might sharing your self-assessment make you more relatable to others? Could acknowledging your limitations help others open up to you more?
How do you typically handle your mistakes at work? Could you disclose your mistakes more openly and quickly to build trust? What steps could you take to demonstrate learning from errors, and how might that affect your relationships?
Do you explain the reasoning behind your values or beliefs when you share them? How might providing the backstory to your values encourage dialogue and connection? Could you invite discussion by framing your views in a way that opens space for other perspectives?
Are you mindful of your audience’s readiness for disclosure? How do you assess when it is appropriate to share more personal information? How could you adapt your disclosures to suit different settings or people more effectively?
Have you set clear boundaries for yourself around self-disclosure? Could you identify topics that should remain off-limits in professional settings? How do you decide who to trust with more personal information, and could you be more intentional about this?
“True bravery is being exactly who you are, imperfections included. Vulnerability is the most precious gift you can give.” Sara Bareilles