Notes from coaching interview with D Ivan Young

Notes written as I listened to interview with D Ivan Young as part of the Essence of Mastery Summit.

Empathy – A respectful understanding of another’s experience

TO connect with what is alive in our clients empathy empowers us to be interested without being intrusive. Be compassionate without being condescending – present without impatience.

Empathy begins with us, being aware of own feelings and needs. Being empathetic is difficult with a client until we are empathetic with ourselves.

If we are distracted due to our unmet needs, we can’t be our best selves for our clients.

We have to be aware of ALL our clients bring and to truly connect we have to be completely joined with the client and coaching dialogue.

We are there to be a witness is what they already have – 

Our life has a huge impact > What am I bringing to my coaching conversation today? Unmet needs & distractions? if we are not fully present , we cannot fully coach. We need a summit for ourselves – Appropriate introspection. We must be what we coach others >> Deal with own stuff: biases, vulnerabilities etc. 

Get out of judgement with yourself. What is within us can trigger  response in or out of sync. 

Theresa Pool >> Masterful is the equivalent of having read everybook and knowing when to recognise when your client is exuding / experimenting with – and having presence of mind to reflect it back to the client. 

Coaching vs Psychology – Coaching works! Psychology points out what is wrong by what you don’t say or they do say . As coaches, we are all about solutions, especially positive psychology – We celebrate.

Be an expert at being present >> Empathy allows to observe and be able to direct their attention.  The answers are already here.

INVITE is difference between MCC and PCC levels

Coaching is about transformation of the person..the coach.

Listen and be present before anything else.

Create trust and intimacy BEFORE all – The need to feel connected / trusted.

Get into self-empathy

1) Think about things you done’t like about others – these are shadows. Why do they bother us, same for us…. What is within me here that others don’t like? Do some deep dives on to understand own shadows.

2) Recognise what we fear and what we don’t control – Work with it

3) Raise awareness of our projections

4) Know what is your why? Do some deep dives. Transformation  to Transmogrification > Caterpillar to butterfly >> Who were you meant to be?

Key learning points:

1> By working on ourself  we can be more open for our clients.
2> Invest in self (mentor coaching) so you can be more present.
3) Raise awareness of our our own distractions & projections.
4) Work on my why to raise my empathy (Transmogrification).

 Image Credit: Pixelbay