Every group, however open and well-intentioned it considers itself to be, carries the constant risk of closing in on itself. Over time, the circle of regular participants tends to become more uniform: people who share similar views, similar backgrounds and similar levels of social confidence. The conversations begin to reflect the perspectives of those already inside the circle rather than the wider community the group was formed to serve. Without deliberate effort, the edge of any community hardens.

This hardening of the edge is one of the most significant threats to authentic connectorship and genuine community health. A group that has become impermeable at its boundaries is no longer a community in the fullest sense; it is a tribe. And tribalism, however comfortable it feels for those inside, is the enemy of the civic solidarity that makes neighbourhoods and organisations genuinely resilient.

How circles become insular

The process of insularity rarely begins with a conscious decision to exclude. It begins with the natural human preference for the familiar. We tend to invite people we already know, to hold gatherings in places that already feel comfortable to us, to use language and reference points that make sense within our existing network. Each of these small, seemingly innocent choices incrementally narrows the circle.

In organisations, this insularity often expresses itself as a senior leadership team that thinks alike, a board that recruits from its own professional networks and a culture that quietly signals to people from different backgrounds that they need to adapt in order to belong. In neighbourhoods, it shows up as community groups that are dominated by long-standing residents who are suspicious of newcomers, or street associations that reflect only the most vocal demographic rather than the full texture of the people who actually live there.

The connector’s role at the boundary

The primary role of the connector in relation to the edge of the group is to maintain its permanent permeability. This is not a one-time act of outreach. It is an ongoing posture of attentiveness to who is not yet inside the circle and a deliberate habit of extending a personal, hopeful welcome to those on the margins.

This means that the connector spends time at the boundary of the group rather than always at its centre. They notice the person who attends once and does not return. They introduce themselves to the new arrival who is hovering at the edge of a gathering. They ask the question that nobody else has thought to ask: what would make this space feel genuinely welcoming to you? They treat the edge not as a perimeter to be defended but as a threshold to be kept permanently open.

Welcoming the stranger as a civic practice

The act of welcoming the stranger is one of the oldest civic and moral obligations in human culture. It appears across nearly every ethical and religious tradition precisely because communities throughout history have understood that their survival depends on the ability to absorb and integrate new members. A group that cannot welcome strangers is a group that cannot grow, adapt or remain vital over time.

In the contemporary context, welcoming the stranger requires more than a formal welcome at the door of a meeting. It requires the connector to follow up, to make a personal introduction, to create a bridge between the newcomer and someone already inside the group who shares a common interest or a complementary gift. The welcome is not an event; it is the beginning of a relationship that needs to be tended.

Resistance and the work of permeability

Maintaining the permeability of the edge is not always straightforward. There will be members of the group who, consciously or not, resist the inclusion of those who seem too different, too challenging or too disruptive to the established norms. The connector must be able to hold this tension without either accommodating the insularity or alienating the established members.

This is perhaps the most demanding aspect of connectorship. It requires both the social fluency to remain trusted by the existing group and the moral commitment to keep the door open regardless. It requires the connector to believe, even when the evidence is difficult, that a more permeable group is ultimately a stronger and healthier group, and to embody that belief consistently in their daily practice.

Questions for reflection

Look at your closest circle of collaborators or community members. How uniform or insular has it become over time, and what groups or perspectives are absent from it?

What practical step can your group take this week to make its boundary more permeable to a person currently sitting on the margins?

Think of a time when you were the stranger at the edge of a new group. What made the difference between feeling welcomed and feeling overlooked?

Who in your network consistently welcomes newcomers and maintains the permeability of the circle? How can you support and amplify what they do?

Inspired by:
 Russell, C. and McKnight, J. (2022) The connected community: discovering the health, wealth, and power of neighborhoods. Oakland, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.