Problem solving: How to think clearly and act wisely under pressure

The left-hand column journal (emotion–fact reflection)

Every conversation has two parts: what is said aloud and what is silently thought or felt. Most misunderstandings, tensions, and missed opportunities arise not from what is spoken, but from what remains unspoken. The left-hand column journal helps leaders examine this invisible layer of communication by writing out both sides of an interaction: the outer dialogue and the inner commentary that accompanied it.

This exercise, adapted from Peter Senge’s work on reflective practice, strengthens emotional intelligence by bringing subconscious reactions into awareness. It shows how unspoken thoughts, fears, or interpretations influence your tone, decisions, and problem-solving clarity.

When leaders surface their inner dialogue, they gain insight into emotional triggers and habitual stories that distort communication. The goal is not to eliminate emotion, but to integrate it into understanding, to make your reasoning more transparent to yourself.

Step 1: Recall a recent conversation

Think of a meeting, call, or exchange that left you unsettled, confused, or frustrated. It might be a disagreement with a colleague, a client negotiation, or a feedback session. Choose one that still carries emotional charge.

Why: Emotionally charged interactions are rich learning material. They hold the greatest potential for insight into your automatic patterns and assumptions.

Step 2: Create two columns

Draw a vertical line down a sheet of paper or create a two-column table. Label the left column “What was said” and the right column “What I was thinking and feeling.”

In the left column, reconstruct the conversation as accurately as possible, using short phrases or dialogue snippets. In the right column, write your internal thoughts and emotional responses at the time.

For example:

Why: Writing both columns side by side externalises what is usually invisible. You begin to see how assumptions, fears, and irritation accompany logic. This reveals the hidden drivers of tone, defensiveness, or withdrawal.

Step 3: Step back and analyse patterns

After you have written the dialogue, read both columns slowly. Ask:

• What emotions or beliefs repeat?
• Where did I jump to conclusions or interpret motives?
• How did my inner state affect what I said next?

Why: This stage turns awareness into analysis. You are learning to identify emotional logic — the way feelings justify behaviour. Recognising these links helps you separate facts from interpretation and emotion from evidence.

Step 4: Rewrite the conversation with awareness

Now imagine replaying the same conversation, but this time with full awareness of your inner reactions. How might you express yourself differently while still being honest and respectful? What could you say aloud that would have clarified assumptions or reduced defensiveness?

Example:

Original: “We’ll need to revisit this plan.”

Response with awareness: “I hear you think Finance should be involved earlier. I feel frustrated because I believed we had alignment. Can we clarify what’s changed?”

Why: Rewriting allows emotional processing to translate into behavioural learning. It transforms raw reaction into conscious choice — the core of emotionally intelligent problem solving.

Step 5: Extract insights for future practice

Summarise what you learned. What does this reveal about your triggers, your listening habits, or your communication patterns? Note one specific action to apply next time.

For example:

• “When I feel dismissed, I tend to defend before asking questions.”
• “I often assume disagreement means criticism.”
• “I could use curiosity to slow down defensiveness.”

Why: Insight without application changes little. Each reflection builds your capacity to handle complexity without emotional distortion. Over time, this process improves both your reasoning and your relationships.

Workplace example

Context: A project leader feels undermined during a steering committee meeting.

After reflection, the leader realises that fear of criticism led to withdrawal instead of constructive dialogue. In a follow-up meeting, they share progress openly and invite joint problem solving. The result: restored trust and shared ownership of the delays.

Variations

• Email reflection: Apply the same two-column method to written exchanges. Copy the message text in the left column and your unspoken reaction in the right.
• Team debrief: In a psychological safety exercise, team members privately complete their columns, then discuss general patterns (without reading entries aloud).
• Coaching dialogue: Coaches can use the format to help leaders recognise emotional filters and practice curiosity over assumption.

Why it matters: Problem solving is not only analytical; it is relational. Every decision and conflict is influenced by invisible emotional narratives. By mapping both outer and inner dialogue, you make your own mental process transparent and accountable.

Research on reflective journaling and emotional regulation shows that naming inner thoughts reduces their intensity and improves subsequent reasoning. This method builds metacognition, awareness of your own thinking, which is central to emotionally intelligent leadership.

Over time, the left-hand column journal becomes a habit of truth-telling to yourself. You learn to notice your biases, regulate your emotions, and act with greater balance. It turns problem solving from a battle of positions into a dialogue grounded in awareness, curiosity, and respect.

The deeper truth: Every conversation has two stories. One is spoken aloud. The other runs quietly inside, shaping tone, choice of words, and willingness to listen. Most damage in problem solving does not come from the outer story but from the inner one left unexamined. The left-hand column journal makes that inner story visible. When you write it down, its grip loosens. Judgement turns into curiosity. Certainty turns into questions.

This practice is not about policing your thoughts. It is about honesty with yourself. By noticing the beliefs, fears, and assumptions that accompany your words, you recover choice in the moment. You can say what needs to be said with less defensiveness and more care. Over time, that honesty becomes steadiness. You think more clearly because you see more of what is really happening, inside you and between you and others.

The assumption testing map

Every problem exists inside a web of perspectives. When leaders make decisions, they rarely see the full picture; they see their own interpretation of it. The assumption testing map exposes the difference between what others say and what you assume they think or feel. It helps uncover bias, misplaced certainty, and emotional projection before those distort clarity or relationships.

In emotionally intelligent leadership, problem solving is not just about fixing issues but understanding the dynamics behind them. This practice allows you to map those dynamics in a structured way, identifying gaps between fact, perception, and empathy.

Step 1: Define the situation

Choose a current issue involving two or more stakeholders;  a project delay, resource dispute, or strategic disagreement. Write a short factual description of what is happening, using neutral language.

Example: “Our department and Finance disagree about the timeline for approving new investments.”

Why: Stating the situation in factual terms separates the problem from blame. It creates a shared starting point for analysis rather than defence.

Step 2: Create your map

Draw a table with three columns:

• Stakeholder
• What they say or do
• What I assume they think or feel

List each stakeholder relevant to the issue, including yourself.

Example structure:

Why: This table externalises invisible mental models. It transforms assumptions into visible hypotheses that can be tested rather than defended.

Step 3: Test your assumptions through dialogue or evidence

Now identify what evidence supports or contradicts your assumptions. Ask yourself:

• What proof do I actually have that they feel this way?
• Have they said it directly, or am I inferring it?
• What else could explain their behaviour?

Then, wherever possible, check your interpretation by asking questions in conversation. For instance, “I sense this process feels risky from your side,  is that accurate?”

Why: Testing assumptions converts interpretation into inquiry. It strengthens empathy and reduces emotional projection. Most conflicts soften when others feel accurately understood.

Step 4: Add a fourth column for “what I learned”

After testing or reflecting, add another column:

Why: Documenting what changes after checking builds humility and evidence-based thinking. It closes the loop between assumption and learning, turning each interaction into a source of insight.

Step 5: Identify system patterns

Step back and review your table. What does it reveal about the broader dynamics? Are your assumptions consistently shaped by distrust, urgency, or frustration? Do some roles attract projection more than others (for example, senior management, Finance, HR)?

Why: Systems thinking begins with noticing recurring interpretations. Once you see how emotional narratives repeat across contexts, you can address root causes rather than symptoms.

Workplace example

Scenario: A product launch has stalled due to conflicting priorities. The leader uses the map to clarify where misunderstanding sits.

By mapping both statements and feelings, the leader sees that each person’s stance protects something valid. The next meeting becomes a coordination session, not a conflict.

Personal example

Context: A friend cancels lunch twice in a row.

This simple exercise revealed how quickly emotion coloured interpretation. By naming the assumption and verifying it, the situation shifted from insecurity to empathy.

Variations

• Team workshop: In cross-functional projects, have each member complete the map privately, then compare assumptions. The overlap and divergence reveal where alignment and misunderstanding exist.
• Coaching reflection: Use this map after difficult stakeholder interactions to identify emotional triggers and communication blind spots.
• 360-degree version: Ask trusted peers to complete a version about you,  what they think you say, feel, and assume. Compare this with your own self-view for perspective calibration.

Why it matters: Leaders who fail to test assumptions often act on incomplete truths. This exercise builds the discipline of curiosity over certainty, replacing projection with empathy. It transforms conflict from a clash of positions into a process of mutual sensemaking.

Research in organisational psychology highlights that misunderstanding others’ intentions is one of the most common causes of workplace conflict. By mapping and testing assumptions, you reduce distortion and increase trust. The result is clearer dialogue, stronger collaboration, and wiser problem solving.

The deeper truth: Assumptions are the mind’s shortcuts. They help us make sense of complexity, but they also quietly narrow our field of vision. Every leader carries stories about others;  who is cautious, who resists change, who lacks ambition, and these stories can become self-fulfilling.

Testing assumptions is an act of humility. It means admitting that what feels certain may not be true. It also invites courage, because it asks you to see others not as characters in your story but as thinking, feeling participants in their own.

When leaders practise assumption testing, they replace judgement with curiosity. Over time, this builds relationships grounded in trust rather than bias. It reminds us that emotional intelligence is not about controlling emotion, but about widening understanding, seeing people as they are, not just as we imagine them to be.

The six hats reappraisal

When facing complex or emotionally charged problems, leaders often rely on one habitual way of thinking. They may approach issues logically, emotionally, or cautiously,  but rarely all three at once. The Six Hats Reappraisal uses Edward de Bono’s model to help you step deliberately into six distinct modes of thinking. Each “hat” gives you permission to see the same situation through a different lens, making your problem solving more balanced, creative, and emotionally intelligent.

This is not about pretending to be someone else. It is about temporarily adopting a perspective that broadens your own. Leaders who practise this technique develop stronger judgement under pressure because they can separate analysis from intuition, facts from fears, and creativity from criticism.

The six hats explained

White Hat – Facts and information: What do I know? What evidence, data, or observations are relevant? This hat disciplines your mind to separate emotion from fact. It protects against reactionary thinking.

Red Hat – Feelings and intuitions: How do I feel about this? What does my gut say? The red hat legitimises emotion as data. It ensures that instinct and empathy are acknowledged rather than hidden.

Black Hat – Risks and cautions: What could go wrong? What should we be careful of? This introduces critical evaluation, surfacing blind spots and unintended consequences.

Yellow Hat – Positives and opportunities: What could go right? What are the benefits or possibilities? The yellow hat counterbalances pessimism and reminds you to recognise potential gains and strengths.

Green Hat – Creativity and alternatives: What other options exist? What unconventional ideas could help This hat opens space for imagination, innovation, and reframing when logic alone stalls progress.

Blue Hat – Process and overview: What is the next step? How do we structure our thinking or decision? The blue hat manages the process. It helps you integrate the other perspectives into a coherent plan.

The steps to use

Step 1: Define the situation clearly

Write a short, neutral description of the issue. Keep it factual and specific.

Example: “A key project deadline was missed, and the client is unhappy.”

Why: Clarity about the problem ensures that your reappraisal focuses on reality, not emotion.

Step 2: Walk through the six hats

Set aside 10–15 minutes to move through each hat systematically. You can do this alone, with your team, or as part of a coaching reflection. For each hat, write short bullet points capturing your thoughts.

Example:

Why: This deliberate sequencing stops emotional thinking from dominating early. It turns problem solving into a structured conversation rather than a reactive spiral.

Step 3: Integrate the insights

Once all six hats have been explored, review your notes.

• Which hat produced the most new insight?
• Which hats do you usually avoid or overuse?
• What changes if you combine two or three perspectives instead of relying on one?

Why: Integration converts six perspectives into a single, balanced understanding. This builds emotional agility and cognitive flexibility, key capacities in the EQ-i model.

Step 4: Plan your next move

Decide one concrete step that reflects your integrated insight.

Example: “I will present the next project update using both data (White Hat) and impact stories (Yellow Hat) to address both rational and emotional needs.”

Why: Turning insight into small, specific actions ensures that reappraisal translates into behaviour, not just awareness.

Workplace example

Situation: A senior manager feels frustrated that her proposal for flexible work schedules is not progressing.

The structured thinking helps her reframe the issue as one of experimentation and risk management, not rejection.

Personal example

Situation: You are debating whether to confront a friend who frequently cancels plans.

This shifts the tone from blame to curiosity and care.

Variations

• Team version: Assign each person a hat and have them represent that viewpoint during a meeting. Rotate roles next time.
• Crisis version: In urgent situations, use just three hats (White, Red, Blue) to balance facts, emotions, and action.
• Learning journal: Keep a “six hats diary” where you record recurring patterns,  for example, noticing that you default to Black Hat caution under pressure.

Why it matters: Each hat activates a different neural pathway; analytical, emotional, creative, or integrative. Using all six prevents overreliance on any single mode of thought. For leaders, this means fewer snap judgements, more creativity under pressure, and greater emotional range in problem solving.

Research in decision science shows that people who consciously alternate between analytical and intuitive reasoning make more accurate, ethical, and confident choices. De Bono’s model provides a simple, repeatable structure for doing so.

The deeper truth: The six hats are more than a thinking tool; they are a mirror of the human mind. Facts without feeling become sterile. Feeling without facts becomes chaos. Creativity without caution becomes risk. Caution without optimism becomes paralysis.

To think fully is to move between them,  to allow reason, intuition, imagination, and discipline to work together. Emotional intelligence begins where thinking becomes plural: where we can hold several kinds of truth at once without losing balance.

When leaders practise this regularly, they become calmer, more curious, and more complete thinkers. They stop reacting from habit and start responding from awareness, the essence of intelligent problem solving.

Two-door thinking

Leaders face constant decisions: when to act, when to wait, when to speak, and when to pause. In pressured environments, it is easy to rush through the first open door or freeze at the threshold. Two-door thinking introduces deliberate pacing. It separates exploration from execution, ensuring that both logic and intuition have their turn.

The image is simple. Every decision has two doors:

• Door A is the thinking door,  a place for curiosity, exploration, and emotional awareness.
• Door B is the action door,  the moment for clarity, commitment, and forward motion.

Moving too quickly through Door A risks impulsive action. Staying there too long leads to indecision and missed opportunities. The skill lies in knowing when reflection has done its job and when movement must begin.

Step 1: Name the decision clearly

Begin by defining the decision you are facing in one sentence. Avoid vague wording. Instead of “Should I change the team structure?”, write “Should I merge my two project teams before the new product launch?”

Then ask: What makes this decision difficult? Identify whether it is the uncertainty, the potential conflict, or fear of failure that holds you back.

Why: Precision brings emotional calm. You cannot reason about a fog; you can only walk through it once it becomes a path. Clarity about the decision anchors the process and sets the stage for genuine problem solving.

Step 2: Enter Door A – The Thinking Door

This is the reflection phase. You are not deciding; you are exploring. Use the following six questions to guide your thinking. Write your answers down to slow the process and surface assumptions.

What exactly do I know, and what do I only believe? Separate verified facts from assumptions.

What emotions are influencing me right now? Name them: fear, urgency, pride, loyalty.

What options have I not yet considered because they feel uncomfortable or unconventional? Push past the first ideas.

Who else is affected, and how might they perceive this decision? Broaden your perspective.

What evidence would genuinely change my mind? Identify what new data or feedback you would need.

What would a wiser version of me, six months from now, advise? Introduce temporal distance to balance emotion with perspective.

At this door, your goal is to stretch thinking, not to narrow it.

Why: Door A invites cognitive and emotional breadth. It balances logic with empathy, creating a more accurate picture of reality. Leaders who linger thoughtfully here often discover better options than they initially imagined.

Step 3: Recognise readiness to move

You know you are ready to move from Door A to Door B when:

• Your answers begin repeating rather than expanding.
• You can articulate one or two strong options and why they matter.
• Your emotions feel calmer and more grounded.

Pause here and write: What still feels uncertain? If the list is shorter than before, you are ready.

Why: The moment of readiness is not when you feel certain, but when you stop discovering new insight. This awareness prevents both premature action and endless analysis.

Step 4: Step through Door B – The Action Door

Door B is about movement. Reflection ends, and action begins. To enter well, use these six guiding questions:

What is the single most important objective I want this decision to achieve? Clarify intent before tactics.

What is the smallest safe step I can take to test this choice? Commit to progress, not perfection.

Who needs to know about this decision, and how will I communicate it? Include empathy in your execution.

What support or resources do I need to follow through? Anticipate constraints.

What early signs will tell me whether this was the right call? Define indicators of success or adjustment.

When will I review this decision and what I have learned? Create a feedback loop that keeps learning alive.

Why: Door B transforms reflection into momentum. It helps you act with purpose, not impulse. Leaders who clarify intent, test decisions in small steps, and schedule review points learn faster and adapt better.

Step 5: Review and refine

After action, revisit your answers. What did you discover that reflection alone could not reveal? Which emotional predictions were accurate, and which were not? Record insights in a decision log for future reference.

Why: Reflection after action closes the learning loop. Without it, experience fades into repetition rather than growth.

Workplace example

A sales director must decide whether to pursue a partnership with a new distributor.

At Door A, she distinguishes facts (the distributor’s regional reach) from assumptions (they will prioritise our brand). She realises her hesitation comes from pride, the deal originated with a junior colleague, not her. After considering others’ views and the long-term strategic fit, she feels ready to move.

At Door B, she defines her objective (“Expand market access with minimal brand risk”) and takes one step: a three-month pilot in a single territory. She shares the rationale transparently with her team and schedules a review date.

Personal example

You are deciding whether to continue in a volunteer leadership role that has become draining.

At Door A, you separate facts (hours required, outcomes achieved) from beliefs (“They will be lost without me”). You notice guilt is driving your hesitation. When you picture your future self six months on, you feel relief, not regret.

At Door B, you decide to step down but offer a month of transition support. The action feels clean rather than abrupt because thinking and emotion have already been balanced.

Variations

• Two-door journaling: Create two facing pages in a notebook, one titled “Door A: Thinking” and the other “Door B: Action.” Complete both before major decisions.
• Team exercise: In a leadership meeting, invite the team to stand physically by Door A or Door B posters depending on which phase they believe the project is in. Discuss why.
• Rapid version: For urgent situations, use three Door A and three Door B questions to ensure reflection even in speed.

Why it matters: Two-door thinking turns decision making into a rhythm instead of a reaction. Research on reflective practice and emotional regulation shows that structured pauses between reflection and execution reduce cognitive bias and decision fatigue. By deliberately answering questions at each door, leaders ground their reasoning in both logic and emotional awareness.

This structure also creates psychological safety within teams. When leaders model Door A exploration before Door B commitment, others learn that thinking aloud is valued and action is deliberate.

The deeper truth: The space between thinking and acting is where wisdom grows. Most mistakes in leadership do not come from lack of intelligence but from poor timing, acting too soon or too late. Two-door thinking trains your internal rhythm, allowing thought and courage to travel together.

Each question you ask at Door A builds depth. Each question you ask at Door B builds direction. Between them lies balance, the quiet confidence of a leader who knows that clarity is earned through reflection, and progress is achieved through movement.

The decision diary

Leaders are constantly required to make decisions, some strategic and deliberate, others fast and instinctive. Yet most never stop to track how they decide. The decision diary transforms decision making from a string of one-off events into a structured learning practice.

By recording both the thinking and feeling behind key choices before, during, and after they happen, you create a personal feedback system for your judgement. Over time, this helps you identify which emotions sharpen your reasoning and which distort it.

It is a reflective discipline grounded in emotional intelligence. Instead of treating emotion as noise in the system, it treats it as valuable data that can illuminate bias, courage, fear, or intuition.

Step 1: Set up your decision diary

Use a notebook or digital log divided into three columns:

1. Before the decision – Capture your thoughts, emotions, and intentions leading up to the choice.
2. At the decision moment – Record what was happening, what felt clear or uncertain, and what emotion dominated at the point of commitment.
3. After the decision – Reflect on the outcome, how you now feel, and what you learned about your decision process.

Create space for each entry to include:

• Context: What decision am I facing?
• Options considered: What paths were open to me?
• Dominant emotions: What feelings were strongest?
• Rationale: Why did I choose this path?

Why: Writing forces clarity. Many leaders believe their decisions are rational until they see the emotional patterns on paper. This structure creates an ongoing mirror for self-observation.

Step 2: Capture the “before” phase

As soon as a significant decision appears, pause and capture your pre-decision state. Ask:

• What information do I have?
• What assumptions am I making?
• What am I feeling about this situation? (e.g., anxious, energised, frustrated)
• What do I fear most could happen?
• What does my intuition say?

Note both logic and emotion without judging them.

Why: This builds awareness before action. Neuroscience shows that once a decision is made, our brains tend to rewrite memory to justify it. Capturing the before phase preserves your raw thinking and emotion before they are edited by hindsight.

Step 3: Record the “decision moment”

At the point of action,  when you make the call, send the email, or give the approval, record:

• What tipped the balance?
• What emotion dominated?
• Did I feel calm, pressured, or decisive?
• How confident was I (1–10)?
• Who influenced me most at this point?

You can write this immediately or soon after.

Why: The moment of decision is the bridge between reflection and action. Capturing your emotional tone and confidence level helps you see when emotion clarifies or clouds your reasoning.

Step 4: Reflect on the “after” phase

Return days or weeks later to the same decision. Add observations such as:

• What actually happened?
• What outcome did I expect versus what occurred?
• How do I now feel about the decision?
• What did I learn about my emotional accuracy?
• Would I make the same choice again?

Include both positive and negative outcomes;  the goal is to learn from variance, not to seek perfection.

Why: Reflection after time has passed activates metacognition, the ability to think about your own thinking. This helps you identify emotional triggers that repeat, such as overconfidence, avoidance, or guilt-driven choices.

Step 5: Review your diary monthly

After four or five entries, step back and look across your log. Identify themes:

• Are there emotions that appear before risky or poor decisions?
• When you feel confident, is that confidence justified by outcomes?
• Do certain people or contexts consistently trigger specific feelings?
• Are there patterns of haste or hesitation?

Summarise these as personal decision-making tendencies.

Why: Over time, you create a personal evidence base for your own decision style. Awareness allows you to predict and manage emotional influences before they lead to bias.

Workplace example

A product manager keeps a decision diary over a three-month product launch.

Before one major pricing decision, he notes: “Feeling pressure from leadership to move fast. Worried about losing momentum if we delay.” At the decision moment, he records: “Went with the lower price. Relief mixed with doubt.”

A month later, reflecting back, he writes: “The price attracted many customers but squeezed margins. I realise I equated ‘speed’ with ‘success.’ Next time, I’ll separate pressure from progress.”

The diary becomes a learning record, one that tempers urgency with evidence.

Personal example

You journal about whether to accept a new job offer.

Before the decision, you write: “Feeling excited but uncertain. Worried about disappointing my current team.” At the moment of choice, you record: “Accepted. Relief and anxiety together.”

Weeks later, you reflect: “The new job is stimulating, but I underestimated how much I valued stability. My excitement masked my need for belonging.”

The log reveals that strong positive emotions can also distort realism. You start balancing enthusiasm with reflection in future moves.

Variations

• Two-column version: For quick capture, use just two columns labelled Thinking and Feeling. Log both before and after each decision to track emotional shifts.
• Team version: Encourage senior leaders to share anonymised entries during retrospectives to normalise emotional reflection in decision making.
• Prompt cards: Keep six recurring reflection questions (e.g., “What emotion drove this?” “What evidence supported my choice?”) to guide each entry.

Why it matters: A decision diary builds emotional literacy for complex leadership. It trains you to pause, notice, and integrate both cognitive and emotional inputs. Leaders who practise this method show greater adaptability, reduced decision fatigue, and improved trust from others because they act with visible self-awareness.

It also strengthens resilience. Over time, you learn that difficult emotions like doubt or anxiety do not signal weakness but information. They become cues to slow down and gather more data.

The deeper truth: The purpose of decision journaling is not to create perfect choices but to refine the chooser. Every entry is a record of how your mind and emotions dance around uncertainty.

When you can look back and see both what you thought and how you felt, you begin to understand your internal weather, when to wait, when to move, and when to trust intuition.

A leader who understands the patterns behind their decisions moves from reacting to creating. They are no longer pulled by emotion or paralysed by analysis but guided by awareness, the quiet confidence that grows from learning through reflection.